I've lived and went through many phases in my life .. Some which I regret and some I simply don't .. However, what really surprises me is my constant will for survival .. I truly thank God for that .. Despite all the anger and resentment, I've managed to overcome it somehow .. I think it's due to my constant prayers .. Yes, I do pray to God! .. It's the only thing that gets me through .. It's the only comfort I seek and it's the only genuine, comforting feeling I seem to gain .. I've lost all sorts of ways of emotional communication, yet that's the only true face of satisfaction I seem to have or even feel ..
It's funny how life became so tasteless, whether in food, meeting people, or whatever .. It's like a deadly virus has conquered your heart and soul without you knowing it .. I mean you already know what emotionally and physically happens to your body, but not to that extent .. That's when the pity runs crawling to your senses, eating everything that is have left in you .. Only then, comes the time for prayer .. The true desperation of someone so lost and so uncomfortable with his/her own life .. Somehow wherever you go and whatever you do, you can't help but think that "There is NO God but ALLAH (swt)" ..
I swear before you .. Nothing in this life, and I fully and utterly mean it from the bottom of my heart, is worth one moment of God's satisfaction towards us .. We're so helpless and weak, you can't imagine how much! .. Still, we're the strongest people on earth and we just don't entirely grasp that fact .. We're ONLY strong when God is on our side, yet we always struggle to accept it .. Sub7an ALLAH!
Again .. Despite all the anger and resentment .. Despite all the hardships I've conquered or still facing .. I'm thankful for the harmony in my heart towards the Almighty.. I hope you all do too ..
.. رضيت بالله رباً و بالإسلام ديناً و بمحمد نبياً و رسولا ..
.. N.O.H.A ..